Blood Doesn’t Make Family

Family. Why have one, right? I’ve actually heard from several teens that “family is overrated.” Most of these people are teens coming from broken families — as if only blood makes family.
 
Blood doesn’t make family. Blood relations can hurt you as much as any stranger.
True family is a person or group of people that supports you and cares for you. They ask what’s wrong. They help you better yourself and feel accepted and loved. Family is also the people who won’t put up with your crap, but rather, will help you raise yourself to be a better you. If you’re about to do something stupid, family will tell you you’re acting stupid. If you’re being dangerous, they will help you find a safer way to live. Family won’t ever tell you to stay the same, to continue hurting yourself, to skip school, or that your feelings don’t matter.
 
Being a kid is hard. You’re learning emotions and creating bonds with people that help mold you into the person you will become. Kids are realizing that the world is full of rules at school, rules at home — rules that keep them safe and in the end, HAPPY. Action and consequence is big and having responsible family surrounding kids will keep them safe as they test their boundaries. After all, that’s what childhood is about — testing boundaries and exploring life and themselves.
 
Imagine what life is like with no family to help kids. They go through a slew of emotions with no one to help them understand what it means.
Why are you angry? Let’s talk and find out how we can help.
Why are you sad? Tell me, and I’ll find every way to make you smile again.
Are you sick? Let me tend to you until you’re healthy.
Are you scared? Let me grab a bat, and we’ll walk through the dark together.
 
Being a teen is harder. You’re finding out that not only are there rules, but there are laws that must be followed. Laws that can either help you in life, or ruin you. Laws to go to school. Laws to work. Laws to live. A responsible family will help you understand these laws and learn how to obtain your greatest advantages through them for college, and then living on your own. Family will help you be the member of society that will survive, love, and enjoy your life.
 
Emotions for teens turn into hell. You’re learning the difference between love and lust. Obsession and acceptance. The teen years are crucial when it comes to relationships. You can’t alway see clearly when infatuation gets the best of you. Your actions in teen years can affect your entire life, either positively or negatively…but it is only you that can make your decision. At this point, parents can only do so much. Living by example, and taking time to sit with their teen(s) can change the path of life that teen decides to walk.
True family will push you to do better. To stay in school and see how important your grades actually are. To keep positive friends, because surrounding yourself with good people will drive you to be a good person, and positivity = happiness. Being surrounded by people who refuse to see the reality of the world only condemns you to suffering. Negativity = unhappiness and suffering.
 
Reality, when it comes to survival in this day and age, is crucial. Imagination and adventure in kids/teens (and even other adults), should be raised up, admired, and encouraged…but not to the point of denying the reality of the world around you. Not to the point where you’re unable to take care of yourself and are forced to live off of the government or charity.
 
To survive in the world, you need to make money. To make money, you need work. To work, you need a solid job. For a solid job, you almost always need a degree. For a degree, you need a college education. To get into a good college, you need to have good grades in high school. It’s all connected, and a true family will help you stay on the right road to success.
 
Nowhere does blood relation come into this.
A true parent will pour their heart and love into a child, related or not.
 
In my own experience, I felt the child-parent bond with my friends’ parents. Why? Because they would keep me safe while I was with them. They would listen to me if I had something to say. I would have dinner with them. I would be treated as their own kid. Did that make them my mother or father? Not necessarily, but it made them family in my heart. People I genuinely felt cared about me and who I grew to genuinely care for.
 
When it comes down to it, it’s the people who have left their mark on your life who you will consider family. When you’re a kid/teen, you may not understand it yet… but you can understand it if it’s shown to you. Good people will help you see good things. Bad people will fill your heart and mind with bad things.
 
Just a thought.

14292365_125245531263962_3218450708591990267_nDiana, AKA the Goblin Queen, is a fantasy children’s author, lifestyle blogger, and mother-figure-friend to nine kids. Connect on Instagram and Twitter to keep up with Goblin Queen’s shenanigans!
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