Protective Wear When…Washing Dishes?

I’m really just talking about gloves. You know, those yellow, rubber gloves that Dexter’s mom always wears?

Yeah, those are the ones.

My fingers shrivel like a prune every time I do housework, but mostly the dishes. And not only do they shrivel, but they feel like styrofoam which gives me that nails-on-a-chalkboard feeling. Believe it or not, this is not the main reason I’ve been wearing gloves.
Let me tell you the story.

A few years ago, I was at Walmart with Tank, aka Goblin 6. He was two and decided that this day would be the grand entrance into terribleness. You know, the terrible twos? I thought he was going to escape the game but turns out, it was just beginning.

14045432_1748053688776599_2002308852_o

Tank

when we reached the register, he pulled stuff off the shelves. You know those shelves strategically placed there with their cursed temptations of Snickers and Twix and Hot Cheetos, where you pull out your wallet so you can count your money and realize at the last minute that you cannot go another moment without inhaling that junk? Yeah, those shelves.

 

Tank decided to play grabby and toss things from there. Then, when we got to the car, I bent down to grab something from the bottom of the cart when he grabs a fistful of my hair and pulls like he’s having a tug’o’war with She-Ra. So, yeah…that day was frustrating and overall terrible.

But the gloves story starts here:
We were walking through the candles and frames section where Tank got a hold of a candle and – surprise, surprise – dropped it. Instinctively, I tried to catch it but, alas, was too late. It shattered on the floor. So I kneel down to pick up the pieces and find my finger on my right hand dripping with blood. I’m talking literally dripping. I didn’t even know how I cut myself or when!

When I got home, I tried to get to work but the gash on my finger stuuung every time it came in contact with water.
“Oh!” I said, and hurried to my utility closet where I kept my gloves. After one-handedly digging through all the sponges and towels and light bulbs and stuff, I found the gloves and got to work. When I finished the dishes, I realized, HUZZAH! No styrofoam feeling!

Well, dur-hurr, Ma, why didna’ thinko’ this before!

Reasons for wearing protective gloves while washing dishes?
Let’s be real about this. There are quite a few others.

  1. No more shriveling fingers.
  2. Safety from knives. Whether the water in your sink is full of bubbles or murky from all the stuff you’ve washed so far in that session, there are knives at the bottom and if your luck is anywhere as bad as mine is, you’ll grab them by the blade. It’s kind of like bread landing on the buttered side…it just happens. All. The. Time.
  3. The quality and health of your nails. Water and soap matters. Your nails will soften/weaken over time and they’ll easily crack, peel, bend, etc. My nails are paper-thin already so the last thing I need is any additional damage to them.
  4. Washing with hot water. Everyone knows that washing with soap and hot water kills the most yuckiness. Of course, burning yourself is never a fun thing to do and if you wash with water half as hot as I do, burns are a promise.
  5. Save yourself the shuddering and gags. There is often yucky stuff floating around the sink and touching it gives me the heebie-jeebies. Soft, slimy noodles. Clumps of grease from your buttered pan. All those ooey, gooey not-so-yummies.
Are there any reasons not listed here that you wear gloves while doing the dishes? None shall be judged.
Until another day.
-Goblin Queen
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s